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View Full Version : Piss Pass to cover my Ass


I-Nod
09-04-2007, 10:27 AM
Disclaimer: The author of this post apologizes for all the drug-induced babble. He has put the important questions in bold print to save you the agony of reading his mindless banter.

Ok, here's my situation... I recently lost a big source of work (remodeling/ construction) and have to get a job very quickly. However, I eat pods daily and almost every job seeks drug-free employees. Big problem for me, if I quit I won't be worth a shit for a good month... it hits me hard and I return to being an absolute, hard-core alcoholic. (Yes, I put beer, instead of milk, in my breakfast cereal.)

A little background though... me and my father share the same name, minus the II at the end of mine. So we regularly use this to our... err, my advantage. For instance, I cannot get a banking account for 5 yrs because I screwed a bank over once (a mistake I will regret every day for the next 4 yrs!!) So I go to his bank and cash checks made out to me, or deposit them to his account. Etc etc.

My father is or was prescribed Oxy's, Kadian, Vicodin, Percocets plus countless others over the past year or so. What I was wondering is... what do drug screening centers ask for, if you claim that you're prescribed Morphine? Also, is morph the only thing that shows up on the 5 panel UA's if you're just eating Pods and Tramadols? Lastly, could I pass my father off as me in this pinch I'm in, or would I face some serious retribution if attempted? The plan was to take in a bottle of Kadian w/ his name on it, and say it was mine... or if needed, get his doctor to vouch that "our name" is on morphine. (He's a cool doctor, basically hands my parents his script pad and tells them "have at it".)

I really need this piss-pass to follow through in order to get work, or me and the family are in deep doo-doo. I'm the only one who works and the work I get on the side isn't quite cutting it, so any advice is truly appreciated!! Please feel free to add any other info I may have forgotten too. Every other time I've had to piss, I had to worry about illegal substances (weed or coke) but this is the first time that I have semi-legal substances in me. I say semi-legal because I self-medicate, it's not a legal prescription to me... eh, what am I saying... you guys are the brightest bunch in the lands! You git the gist. :D

Much thanks, and apologies for the lengthy post. Take care and gods peed gentlemen! Ladies too!!! :D:o

betmylife
09-04-2007, 10:46 AM
the only thing the 5 panel tests for is morphine, as most opiates break down into morphine in the blood. Tramadol would not come up, I would take your dads pill bottle, make sure the dates are correct, and say you get prescribed em for back pain. Take the weakest pain killer he has. The people that work at the piss test places really dont care, its a crappy job. Good luck.


BML

I-Nod
09-04-2007, 11:11 AM
Hey wow... good point ("The people that work at the piss test places really dont care, its a crappy job.") Although I have gone to some places that soley deal w/ UA's. Almost like a laboratory in appearance. Hopefully though, most of these employers can't afford such nice establishments now that Ohio raised the minimum wage.

So they just need a pill bottle? Heh, that's easy enough. Also, if I brought in a hydro bottle, that would pass? I'm not too keen on what metabolizes into what, but hydro does metabolize into morphine?

Sorry if I'm just reiterating what you just said bro... just don't want to take any chances. Again, thank you very much for the answers!!! Truely appreciated!!

betmylife
09-04-2007, 11:16 AM
Yeah the bottle will work. Just tell them you have had these test before and knew to bring it. Im pretty sure that hydrocodone would work, but I would look into it more as Im not 100%.....look up some of the home drus testing shit, and see what it could test for.,...as Im sure they use similar products.....My brother used to be on probabation, and had an old hydrocodone bottle that he got and used that when they drug tested him......I dunno, just make sure that it turns itnto morphine.....babble babble


BML

I-Nod
09-04-2007, 11:20 AM
Great!! That's exactly what I needed to know my friend! Thanks a million BML, take care and sending good vibes your way!

Synack
09-04-2007, 03:42 PM
I-Nod, Good luck on your test - you should check to see what hydrocodone metabolizes into...

NastyZilla
09-04-2007, 04:03 PM
I wish I had an answer for you, I-Nod. I just wanted to post and wish you the best - that you pass any tests, and that you find great work very soon. Best to you!

Opilover
09-04-2007, 05:59 PM
Good luck bro on passing the test,,hope you can get it figured out and pass it...Sending alot of good vibes your way bro..

I-Nod
09-04-2007, 06:42 PM
I-Nod, Good luck on your test - you should check to see what hydrocodone metabolizes into...

I'm a chronic-procastinator so I'll do that right now :D

I wish I had an answer for you, I-Nod. I just wanted to post and wish you the best - that you pass any tests, and that you find great work very soon. Best to you!

Good luck bro on passing the test,,hope you can get it figured out and pass it...Sending alot of good vibes your way bro..

And wow... much, much thanks for the luck and good vibes you guys!! (er, lil' lady, NZ :D ) I genuinely appreciate it, thank you!

I'll report back my experiences w/ the UA and bringing a rx bottle in... just in case somebody down the road may wonder the same. Take care y'all and may all your days be WD free :D

RxQueen
09-05-2007, 12:55 AM
i don't know for sure, but if you're gonna take a pill bottle in to show, why not just go with the kadian? at least we KNOW that morphine will test out as morphine. most of the "straights" in this country won't know the difference between a strong med and a weak one anyway, and they don't care. hell, a lot of 'em still see the evil vicodin as just another form of morphine/heroin. after all, they get blitzed on a half a pill of vicodin... "that's really strong stuff!" :rolleyes:

good luck passing your test, I-nod! (...goddamn drug-free workplaces....*grumble, grumble*)

I-Nod
09-05-2007, 01:26 AM
i don't know for sure, but if you're gonna take a pill bottle in to show, why not just go with the kadian? at least we KNOW that morphine will test out as morphine. most of the "straights" in this country won't know the difference between a strong med and a weak one anyway, and they don't care. hell, a lot of 'em still see the evil vicodin as just another form of morphine/heroin. after all, they get blitzed on a half a pill of vicodin... "that's really strong stuff!" :rolleyes:

good luck passing your test, I-nod! (...goddamn drug-free workplaces....*grumble, grumble*)

Looks like that is what I'll have to do too. Researched and found hydrocodone is metabolized into hydromorphone. Guess I just didn't want to appear to be on such a strong med, in case that would provoke them into needing more proof.

Can ya tell how naive I am w/ this testing stuff?:D I haven't had to drug test for a job in... shit, 10 years or so... when you're your own boss, drug testing = trying a new pod vendor. I'm tired of being broke tho... so I'll brave the drug-free enviroments once again. :(

Thank you kindly RxQueen!! And amen to your very last statement... dirty bastards!! Hahah