The UA Poll...

[drugsaregood]

Figured I'd make this poll in the name of opio-pseudo science statistics. What's your record with drug testing\ua?

[Synack]

Oddly enough I had one for my last job, and I didn't have to piss right away.. so for the hour that I waited - I flirted with the receptionist/piss cup labler ..told her I would fail .. blah blah....

and when the test results finally came back.. I passed? I was really confused.

:)

[jonny-5]

ive failed every UA ive ever had. but i have a similar story to the one above me. i was working at my dads office and he decided to test me. asshole. so he sent me to this place, i filled out the paperwork, gave it back to them, and then since i knew i would fail, i just left. i knew that either way, it would be found out that i failed so i was prepparing my "im a junkie and cant help it" speech but i never heard about it. never. it turns out that they sent my dad the results, and i passed the test. crazyness.

[xecutrex]

Back when I was a minor I was arrested twice for drugs and spent about two years on probation being randomly drug tested. I passed all of my tests (about 20 give or take) except one of them. My p.o came by the house to drug test me early in the morning and I chugged one of those drinks you can buy from headshops that are supposed to make you pass the test before I came downstairs. My lips were stained blue from the drink so I think he had a pretty good idea of what I was up to. Ended up failing the ua. All throughout being on probation I was smoking weed/doing drugs and that was the only test I ever failed.

[JonnyMohawk]

I drink pee.

[kyuss]

Figured I'd make this poll in the name of opio-pseudo science statistics. What's your record with drug testing\ua?


I think you should
elaborate on your own
experiences with urine and poles
before you ask us to contribute ;)

[bronyraur]

I've passed every UA I've taken (I always manage to have a current script of some sort of opiate).

Of course, I've only had 4 or 5 UAs in my lifetime.

[Pantopon Pete]

I've failed every piss test I've taken for employment purposes, but for this round of MMT, I'm tested every week or so, and I've been smoking rock every day, along with benzos and various other substances, and I haven't heard one word about the results.

This is strange to me, because the last round of meth (at this same clinic), I was shooting coke everyday, and I was booted within 3 months. Go figure.

They're known as a fairly strict clinic as far as dirties go, so I'm thinking I've just somehow slipped through the cracks or something.

[Raisin]

I got hurt on the job and needed stitches so while I was at the hosp they gave me the obligatory UA. I was positive for THC but 2 weeks prior I had informed my immediate supervisor that I was getting drug treatment (subs) so as much as the higher ups wanted to fire me they couldn't.

The company who does the testing for my company (ins. co.) had a rep call me to tell me I tested positive and it was hilarious because I spent the whole time messing with the guy trying to get him to deviate from the script he was reading but he wasn't having it.

[Poppylvr]

Heh - I was once tested too close to a morphine dose. get this - as a nurse being followed by my board of nursing, I had to pee on command randomly - it worked out to be about 14x/year. 50 Fucking $ for the tests!
So anyway, I had put down on the paper that I had eaten poopy seed cake (which I actually had), suspecting that I was going to pee dirty.
I was NOT disciplined for the positive test!

[Method]

failed everyone of the UAs

[Ginger Snap]

I was tested for a job, and tested NEGATIVE, even though I had a morphine pump and was taking Dilies for B/T. I believe that there are employers who claim to drug test, but don't, due to cost. They use it as a scare technique figuring people won't apply if using. False negtatives are not uncommon.

Ginger Snap

[irish]

I live in Canada, where we have rights. They can't piss test you for work, only probation and shit like that.

[jonny-5]

yet another reason i want to move to canada

[jdub]

but i have a similar story to the one above me. i was working at my dads office and he decided to test me. asshole. so he sent me to this place, i filled out the paperwork, gave it back to them, and then since i knew i would fail, i just left. i knew that either way, it would be found out that i failed so i was prepparing my "im a junkie and cant help it" speech but i never heard about it. never. it turns out that they sent my dad the results, and i passed the test. crazyness.

Haha. Same shit happened to me. Luckily I only failed for weed and blow and it was 2 days after the friggin' 4th of July.:rolleyes: Bastids. I just told them I was going to fail.

[paroxetina]

I selected "I've never failed a UA (Due to being too 'good')" but it's not exactly accurate. Here's what happened to me.

The one UA I've had specifically for a drug screen (obviously I've had others for medical reasons, the term UA isn't exclusive to drugs) was prior to starting my last clinic internship for grad school, and I'd used dilaudid and vicodin within a few days before the test. I didn't know I was going to have to take it or I would have tried to stay clean for a couple days. I only had about 24 hours notice.

I never heard the results one way or the other, but since I knew I might well come up dirty, I made sure to mentilon my chronic back problems to my supervisor on the first couple days, and that I'm prescribed vicodin, etc (the D isn't rxed to me). One day some months later we were talking about drug testing because my supervisor had to go for her routine one (every 6 months or something) and I sort of got the feeling she knew I'd come up dirty and for whatever reason they had just let it go.

Back when I was providing my sample and filling out the forms, I was expecting to be asked if I was on any medications, or if I"d used drugs in the past xx days, etc, but nothing. I had my rx bottle of vicodin and a few months of pharmacy receipts (with the drug info) in case they asked for proof. They never asked, and I'm pretty shy around strangers, so I chose not to bring it up, which was probably pretty dumb.

Anyway, if I had (or did) indeed fail the test, the consequences would not have been that bad for me. One, they could choose to ignore it as I was not an employee and was essentially providing free (highly skilled) labor to them, which they would lose if they decided not to take me for the internship since everyone else had already been assigned to other places. Additionally, if they had decided not to take me, it would have been up to my program at school to find a new placement for me - and let me say that ANYTHING else would have been better than the place I was, which was a busy ENT office with a supervisor who had a giant stick up her ass and made me want to kill myself.

Didn't mean to ramble on so long. Might as well post it anyway, I suppose.

[antigonemuse]

i picked i drink pee because my option wasnt up there. With the exception of one test, every test i yook i failed, and i knew i would, and i didnt care. I had also told my drug counsolur before hand that i used.

so my answer, I failed, and didnt care

[Oxydation]

While on a little 'vacation' I failed a UA while undergoing a rehab program here in SoCal. It was 'random' (of course pinpoint pupils didn't help much in offering me up as a subject) and I failed miserably. I got lucky though...wife was using prescription cough syrup with codeine. Take the label from that bottle, process with Adobe Photoshop and abracadabra...I have the same exact prescription! Kept me from being booted from the program but did learn that the tests don't lie...even after 48 hours clean.

[Scagermeister]

I was tested for a job, and tested NEGATIVE, even though I had a morphine pump and was taking Dilies for B/T. I believe that there are employers who claim to drug test, but don't, due to cost. They use it as a scare technique figuring people won't apply if using. False negtatives are not uncommon.

Ginger Snap

You know I've had this suspicion for the longest time. Especially when companies do mass hirings. I mean c'mon, no company wants to spend thousands on whiz quizzes. :rolleyes:

[Papa Verine]

I've failed them, been caught cheating on them and I've passed many when I should've failed.

The time I was caught cheating I had someone else piss for me and I put it in a little bottle under my nuts. But it was real cold and windy that day. The parking lot at the clinic was crowded and I had a long walk to the door. The sub-zero wind cut right through me. The temperature of the sample I provided was below 80 deg.

Needless to say, the nurse accused me of tampering and I walked out feeling like an idiot.

The next day a guy from the company I was appying at called to tell me they were no longer offering me the position. I told him to fuck off and suck my dick before he had a chance to hang up. (Hey, what did it matter at that point anyway).

[Nate]

Never taken a UA in my life...

IMO drug screening for a job is fucking stupid. I am very thankful to have that privacy, Oh Canada.

[REVEREND]

I had to take a UA for my current job.I failed.
I got the job anyway the boss said to retake the test in 6 months or so that was 6 years ago never was retested.
The only reason my company does UA is because the insurance is cheaper.The insurance doesn't say you can't hire someone that doesn't pass it just wants the tests done.
As I soon learned about 95% of the people that work here didn't pass either.

[DownByLaw]

Failed many, passed many with the aid of urine lick, drinks etc. Probably the most humorous situation was before I joined the Army and at the recruiting station the gave me the @home piss test where a colored line shows up on the paper, and failed miserably and the recruiter said, "Good enough for the Army" I subsequently got a general discharge for overdosing a few years later. I guess that dope was Army Strong.

[darkstar]

Actually failed once from eating poppy seed bread. I'm not lying. IT was a real shitty situation and I know I should've known better, but I was in a program where I was getting tested every day and staying totally clean. My grandfather had passed and our family was given a lot of gifts, mostly food. Someone made this lemon poppy seed bread. I had for breakfast for 3 days thinking nothing of it. They called it dirty and when I tried explain my self my PO said that failing piss tests due to poppy seeds was an urban legend. Well it happened. I got sent to an impatient treatment facility for 21 days luckily I got got that rather than my 10 month suspended sentence I had hanging.

[pharmboy]

I had a UA once for a job, I really aced the proficency exam ( it wasn't for spelling )

and this company really wanted me. At my interview over lunch I told the the manager

that was hiring me straight up that I had chronic pain and used a patch. He said OK

no problem. So I went , took the test, and they conviniently lost the results. Never was

asked to redo it.

[mrnatural]

I was on probation for agout a year for a DUI and was drug tested every two weeks. I brought in old script bottles for morphine , hydro and oxy early on and they always let those positives slide for me. The one time I knew I was to be tested and knew I would show thc, I came in acting really pissed and contrite and told the officer that the previous weekend (near Christmas) I went to a feast where all attendees would bring an item or two of food. I told her that, unknown to me until after I ingested, one of the jerks had cooked some hash brownies and that I got so mad at the jerk that we almost came to blows. She passed my test.

[Narkotikon]

I voted for number two (failed a UA -- Just peed, didn't think, woops). For the first two months at the methadone clinic I was at I consistently tested positive for opiates and later coke, but I felt like they expected that, and it wasn't a big deal. And a long long long time ago, when I was 20, before I even started using opiates on a daily basis, I tested positive for coke and was fired because of it. I didn't really care, because I hated the job. Oh, and my first rehab (which was outpatient), I consistently tested positive, but I didn't care because I didn't want to be there. The last time I had a UA was last October when I was in my last rehab (also outpatient) and I didn't fail, although I should have because I was taking Vic's and Darvocet, which I knew wouldn't show up on the standard 5-Panel, which is what that place used. It was kind of funny because they kept on saying how accurate that test would be and how it would pick up anything and the counselor in the bathroom with me asked me if I would be positive for opiates and I just looked at him and said no. I suspect he suspected me of using, but he couldn't prove it. Either way, I left that place early a week later because it was a joke. My family was making me go, and it was seriously a waste of time and money. I've not had much luck with outpatient places.

[reddragon3668]

I've failed a few over the years; all in pain mgmt. I've never gotten in trouble because of it though, thankfully.

Now, nine of us drink piss? You sick bastages!

[Papa Verine]

Actually failed once from eating poppy seed bread. I'm not lying. IT was a real shitty situation and I know I should've known better, but I was in a program where I was getting tested every day and staying totally clean. My grandfather had passed and our family was given a lot of gifts, mostly food. Someone made this lemon poppy seed bread. I had for breakfast for 3 days thinking nothing of it. They called it dirty and when I tried explain my self my PO said that failing piss tests due to poppy seeds was an urban legend. Well it happened. I got sent to an impatient treatment facility for 21 days luckily I got got that rather than my 10 month suspended sentence I had hanging.

you don't have to convince me of it! I loose all my energy, shake and shiver, kick my legs, freak out and piss out of my ass whenever I don't drink my poppy seed tea. I know there's morphine on them sir...

[Opiyum]

I keep a ready supply of Quick Fix synthetic urine on hand for work since I sometimes get sent on emergency jobs when power plants blow up. So normally I only use the shit for work and never see the results but the other day I needed it for a suboxone doctor appointment. Normally since I know those are coming I just get a clean friends but in this case I had a few ounces of extra fake pee so I used that.
The amazing thing that happened, which is why I'm talking about this, is that my cup came up negative for all illicit substances except for Buprenorphine! Which I am supposed to test positive for obviously. Now when I use my friends pee it comes out negative too but even my doc says it's probably because I am on such a low dose. In reality my urine would show bupe though. Those tests are more sensitive than some imagine.
Anyhow...I was shocked when I didnt see that second line on the bupe column. Couldn't believe it.

[Hiram]

Failed UA in a treatment facility after a suicide attempt about 14 years ago. No time or need to mess with the test.

[God_Albino]

since i signed an opioid agreement last year, all my piss has been clean, minus the shit that should be in it.

i dont do anything other than opies and benzos anyway now, but having to cover my mouth every time someone sparks a bowl is a fucking pain.

[SeVeN]

LoL I drink pee personally. That was a great option. I just laughed about it again. I failed one test. Took codeine for about 3 daysthen had a UA after 3 days clean. Figured I had nothing to worry about but was wrong.