NO MORE FKING HEROIN> READ PLZ.

[jayemp420]

I FINALLY QUIT. FINAL SHOT TONIGHT ON TOP OF MY CATAPRES, ATIVAN, AND KLONOPIN:


WHOOOOOEY I"M FLYIN!!!!!!!!!!!! My final shot consisted of a $20.00 piece I copped from my good boy, and boy did he hook it up fat Cus I told him im done its over not only was it FAT, it was also BOMB (BIG FAT CHUNK OF LIGHT TAN SWEET SMELLING DIESEL) (Probably about 75mg of Diacetylmorphine in it. Plus I was already on (which, btw, the Ativan, Klonopin and Catapres Transdermal Patches were all LEGALLY prescribed to me. The only illegal things I was doing was Marijuana(Pot) and the Heroin(Diacetymorphine). Also for me Alcohol is still Illegal because I just turned 19 yesterday, so, blah, whatever, lol. Anyways I Ingested Orally 1mg of Lorazepam (Ativan) and 11mg of Clonazepam (Klonopin) throughout the day before I scored (And I've been wearing the Catapres Transdermal Patches since last night at 2am, they last for a full week and still have meds in them after a week. Anyways..... [1mg Lorazepam and 11mg of Clonazepam is equal to about ~210mg of Diazepam - Valium. That would mean having to take 21 10mg Valium which is also the highest dose they make, they make 2mg 5mg and 10mg Valium (not bragging, but I have an EXTREME tolerance.) and had a Steel Reserve (8.2% alcohol beer) and I also have 2 Catapres - Clonidine, 1 week transdermal patches, on each arm on my upper arm, it's a sedative/blood pressure med they give to people for withdrawal, also helps with the anxiety and the hot/cold flashes(for those who don't know alreayd, im sure most people here already know everything i've typed), and now im smoking a big fat white owl blunt of some bomb weed.... im gonna be nodding even though i already am eheheh

but tonights my last time getting fKced up. IM DONE. but then again, theres final shots, then theres final shots. only time shall tell. :confused::cool:;)

Dont worry abou tme overdosing, im use to this and have a high tolerance to all CNS depressants (Opiates/Opioids, Benzodiazepines, Alcohol, Pot, Anticholinergics/Over-The-Counter Sleep aids)

Also look how good im typing :) dont worry fella si know you love me but don't worry :D

Well, hopefully i dont come off as bragging I'm just sharing my happiness, maybe cheer someone who's having a bad night up. Love you guys!!!! lol. :P

Who knows though.... "Theres final shots, and then there's final shots, only time can tell..." ~Mark Renton, Trainspotting

[Ragdoll]

:)

The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 10 characters.

[ProdigalSon]

I mas a Marine, Gunnerey Sgt at that and this whole storey is=either flat the fuck out bullshit, or your gonna relapse. Sorry for thr shit but I know what i know/

Not saying your not a man but take resposibility for yor lifrstyle and mna the fuck uo. No faggot sugarcoating, just the facts

[OxyContinuously]

Jay

From the few times I've talked to ya, about various shit here and there, u seem like a good dude, straight up...You are entertaining, and actually I enjoy reading what you have to say...;-)

Now, a couple things; first, tolerance taken into account--> pls be extra careful with the Klonopin as 11mg is fucking insane...let's put it this way, I'm 6 foot 1 and 210 pounds and i like to have fun too, but 11mg would stop my heart...esp. with diesel, so just exercise caution...(not tryin to be a dick or ur dad or anything like that, it's just that I do happen to be 27, and I have seen a good deal of disturbing shit in my day, and honestly, the extreme benzo intake, coupled with the clonidine AND the *injected* dope, WILL eventually stop ur heart...be smart, Jay, don't let it do that)

Second, if you are ready to quit, that's what's up, dude...And you probably know this already; but you don't have to do it on your own; there are a lot of programs and shit like that...for example Suboxone is said to work wonders, and of course there's Methadone programs in pretty much every major city in the United States...and even though I don't personally believe in it; there is also Narcotics Anonymous, and different "twelve step-type" programs available. In case you were wondering, I personally live in NY, near YOnkers if you ever heard of it, and being a large city, there are various progs. available to help us in our recovery; I personally called St. Joseph's Hospital, who has a Suboxone program, and I have an appointment to speak to a counselor next Tues.---> if you're interested, PM me and I'll tell you about it on Wed...My point is that we don't have to kick this shit alone...and there's nothing to feel bad or whatever about; I think that addiction is a "disease" I don't know exactly how it works, jsut that it's chronic, and seems to be insatiable...Now what do we do with diseases? We treat em...SOme require penicillin, some acyclovir (LOL, if u know what acyclovir is, then you prob. got a good laugh) and some need Prozac, and some need Suboxone/Methadone...It's up to you to pursue help, though. And we all need help; don't try to be a hero and do it on your own; actually realizing that you need help and seeking it as such is being more of a man than trying to conquer the unconquerable; if you're anything like me, seeking help WILL be difficult, and WILL hurt your pride, and WILL damage your ego, *but* I like to see it as something that needs to be done, so do it...

Getting off of injected dope is something to be proud of; it'sa fucking acomplishment bro, you know that! SO stick with it, man, don't give up, and don't set urself up for relapse; be determined to succeed, and if you DO relapse somewhere down the line, that doesn't mean you're fucked, no on the contrary try to learn why and how you relapsed, what MADE you, etc. and you'll grow, and maybe become more bitter, amybe strengthen your resolve, but you'll be a man, dude (not saying that you're not one now, so don't get the wrong idea ;-)

SO anyway, Jay, that's my view, and my piece on the subject--- and Jay I'm one of the most narcissistic, antisocial, PROUD sunuvabitch you'll ever hope to meet, LOL.....and I even realized that there are some things that testosterone alone cannot conquer; that's why i called St. Joseph's...in case you're wondering, they do methadone AND Suboxone, and being young with many years ahead of me, God willing, I have opted for the Suboxone..

Hey man, straight scoop, like I said--- no pity from me, no coddling; I told you the "real deal," so what you do with the information is up to you...

Good luck and feel free to PM if you wanna know more or just wanna bullshit, whatever...


peace out
later man

Oxy

Hey, man, straight scoop: it's up to you whether you would want this to be your last shot or not...if you really want to quit (and more power to ya; you're young, bro; you can get "out" a lot less painfully than someone who has been doing it for say, two/threee decades, u know what I mean?)

[Woowoo]

Lemme get this straight,

you're high as a kite, and bragging about how you're quitting?

Forgive me for being a skeptic but once you start really sweating the shite out of your system, and you taste the pain of being clean for a week or two, then I'll believe you. Right now it's hard to tell the difference between what you posted and the insane ramblings of a person high on smack. Your post expressed the thoughts in my head that I had a dozen times during my latest run/relapse ... and while I meant it sincerely every time, only the last time did I actually REALLY mean it. It doesn't matter how sincere you are in your heart, as long as you keep using, you're just not clean.

Don't think I'm trying to jinx your efforts: I sincerely hope you go clean. There comes a time when every junky says "I've had enough" and sometimes they even mean it.

I recently had my epiphany. It's a glorious feeling to be free from the chains of opiates, it's like getting sprung from prison. Hope to see you on the other side of the prison wall!!

[BLOODY]

Lemme get this straight,

you're high as a kite, and bragging about how you're quitting?

Forgive me for being a skeptic but once you start really sweating the shite out of your system, and you taste the pain of being clean for a week or two, then I'll believe you. Right now it's hard to tell the difference between what you posted and the insane ramblings of a person high on smack. Your post expressed the thoughts in my head that I had a dozen times during my latest run/relapse ... and while I meant it sincerely every time, only the last time did I actually REALLY mean it. It doesn't matter how sincere you are in your heart, as long as you keep using, you're just not clean.

Don't think I'm trying to jinx your efforts: I sincerely hope you go clean. There comes a time when every junky says "I've had enough" and sometimes they even mean it.

I recently had my epiphany. It's a glorious feeling to be free from the chains of opiates, it's like getting sprung from prison. Hope to see you on the other side of the prison wall!!
amen to that mate,respect for ur fight,glad u made it !!!

[Duckfeet]

Yeah, when I was a young junky, I used to get really loaded and decide to quit, flush my drugs down the toilet, write notes to myself, tell my old lady the good news, etc. I don't know if the knowledge of the many failures is helpful or not, tho...at least back then I tried. Now, fuck, I can't even bullshit myself, much less some stranger. Oh well, part of being a dope fiend is "quitting for good, and this time I mean it!" Trouble is, after a while sobriety kind of sucks too, and if that happens, right when some friendly doc is offering u dilaudids, *that's* when it's hard. Oh well, good luck... You never know...

[pharmboy]

O.K. talk to ya next week.:cool:

[Inspektahdek]

That's alot of sedatives for someone about to shoot 75mg of DIAmorphine! Do you really have that kinda tolerance? THATS A SHITLOAD OF VAL AND K-PINS!! And alcohol on top of it!! ? Man, wait for those to wear off before that shot because thats insane or you really do have a benzo from hell tolerance

BE CAREFUL BROTHER! And you're young as hell please be careful

[jonny-5]

um.....good luck to ya. sounds like its your first time quitting, so you are prolly kinda naive to this whole process. i hope im wrong, but from your mindset it doesnt sound like youre done. someone who is REALLY done talks more about how their life is in shambles and as much as they love drugs they just cant do it anymore. good luck dude, and remember: relapse IS NOT a part of recovery. if you fuck up, you have no one to blame but yourself.

[jayemp420]

sup guys. i dont really remember all tah tmuch from last night, im not dependant on benzos i just have a strong tolerance to all sedatives.....you guys are gonna kill me but when i stopped talking on here i took 2mg extra of ativan and another 6mg of klonopin, i was up all night waitin for the dope to wear off an dnow im sittin here still high as hell on the benzos but nothing for opiate.....my stomachs a lil blah and my legs are hurting but other then that no withdrawal symptoms......

and holy SHAT after i just read that omfg lol i was rocked man the benzos had me high in the first place but then i did a giant IV of smack and i just got high as a kite when i did that....but im seriously done..... ii hope.... i dont know.... maybe ill never fucking learn....and i was in a metahdone clinic for 9 months they financially detoxed me cus i dont have much money and my insurance runs up.....i dont know im just in siuch a crappy situation i dunno what to do anymore. im sick of my life being either high as hell or low as hell in withdrawal.... i recently lost my job because of being dopesick i had so much stomach and bone pain i couldnt get out of bed and i got fired....i just feel helpless

[jayemp420]

and no this isnt my first time kicking, im 19 and been using since i was about 15 (that includes IV benzos / opiates, started alot wtih pot i started smokin pot when i was 9 yrs old) and ive kicked myself atleast 10 times plus ive been thru a methadone clinic like i said above.....my plan was to taper down on my dose and i was doin that and then switch to suboxone and taper slowly off that....but my plans all got washed down the drain when my clinic fKed me over

[robojunkie]

Wow, I've quit hundreds of times. Problem is it was always a bit after a good shot, and I would only manage to stay "clean" for maybe 4 hours.

Its odd how I never seemed to want to quit when I was sober/straight/bored though. Why? Ponder thy deep question my friends...kidding, its not deep, the answer is the high world is far better than 99% of the straight world. Plain and simple.

[Duckfeet]

Easy does it, Jay. It's just a tough world sometimes. Nobody's happy all the time, and every once in a while just seems no matter which way we turn, it's a shitstorm. Hell, get out of the game for a while, try something different. Ur a young man, have a lot to live for. You'll sort things out eventually, find a path that suits u...don't be so damn hard on yourself, 'cuz most of us have been there...

[AWOL]

the high world is far better than 99% of the straight world. Plain and simple.

I'm going to make bumperstickers out of this.

I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I did say no, but the drugs just didn't listen. "

[betmylife]

If you plan on sticking to it, you gotta find something to occupy your time while clean...I just started college again and am hoping it keeps me relativly grounded....Im a CP patient tho, so I dont see being 100% clean ever again....but for you at 19, you should try and move past it....at this time in your life you can look back on it as a phase, but if you steer down the road too long, many on here will tell you that you become part of that road....some of us dont wanna quit, even when we say we do....some of us are so sick of ourselves that we want nothing other than to be clean, I find myself being a part of both of those groups, but Ill be happy if I can just stick to my meds and get high once in a while....maybe you should set a more realistic goal if you are having doubts, like a taper...or switch from H to pills, and taper down the pills....anyways good luck with whatever you decide...peace


BML

[Ghost666]

Well, good luck to ya. But it sounds like if you've "kicked" 10 times, you haven't really kicked once, right? Hope all goes well for you...

[Thanat0s]

I mas a Marine, Gunnerey Sgt at that and this whole storey is=either flat the fuck out bullshit, or your gonna relapse. Sorry for thr shit but I know what i know/

Not saying your not a man but take resposibility for yor lifrstyle and mna the fuck uo. No faggot sugarcoating, just the facts

can you make a post tonight without the inclusion of offensive slurs? makes you sound like a real piece of shit.

[jayemp420]

my dad was a marine too and he was in Vietnam and he screams like you wouldnt beieve (makes any drill sergeant look like a little fairy) and he swears more then he uses any other word, atleast every 2 or 3 words is a swear..... its just how those marines talk. SEMPER FI

and im not trying to start a flame war, but pillophile, my dad would make you ball your eyes out crying if he got on your ass. ive seen the toughest cookies and big tough guys whimper like little girls when my dad unleashes on them. he was actually gonna be a drill sergeant at one point because he has such an authoritive/loud voice but he got discharged for hearing disability from all the yelling the tanks and the guns (he was a scout sniper and a tank runner too)

[Somanax]

can you make a post tonight without the inclusion of offensive slurs? makes you sound like a real piece of shit.


Pillophile is actually one of the most

friendly member's on this site.

Not to mention you seem to be the only

person with 10 whole post's to have a

problem. Read some more from Pill.

Then you may have a better view of

Pillophile. I most emphatically,do not

accept your piece of shit statement.

Pill is a damn good man.I for one am

proud to include him as one of my

friend's, or doe's this make me sound.

Like a piece of shit to you also?

[jayemp420]

look somanax, hes probably just never grown up or been around many marines, especially the oldschool ww2/vietnam era ones, cut him some slack....and if anyone thinks im mad at pillophile no im not..... ive been being called a cock sucking mother fucking little prick ass son of a fucking bitch cunt ass fucking mother fucker fuckin idiot retarded ass mother fucker since i was 3 years old, not to mention my dad showed me about rolling weed when i was oh id say about 5 years old ..... and im not putting the blame on my dad, whats done is done, but if we could go back in time and my dad changed all the yelling/beating/screaming/drug using in front of me when i was growing up i doubt id be in this shitty position im in now

[betmylife]

some people call it child abuse, I just call it bonding with your Dad....ahhh memories.....


BML

[Duckfeet]

We don't mind cussing on here. I just deleted *long* post from me saying just that...it's o.k. to cuss, but not to pick out groups of people for special rude treatment...everybody on here is acting all right, no need to build this into a big deal...just opiophile is for everybody and anybody who likes opiates...no groups get special treatment, and no groups get insulted either...best wishes....

[betmylife]

sorry I was only kidding, not making fun of your situation....my dad was a prick, but not that messed up....didnt mean to be an ass man.....take care


BML

[jayemp420]

whyd my post get deleted? its just life man....you can sit here and talk about shooting heroin and oxys and shit but you cant talk about abuse/molestation??? thats fuckd up

[Duckfeet]

I don't want to have to be deleting messages, but we need to remember that this isn't the appropriate format for posting childhood horrors and descriptions of sexual misconduct by family members. We've gotten away from anything to do with heroin or kicking or any other topic that we started out with. Please post me privately if you have any problems with this...

--duckfeet

[tui]

I hate my opi family tantrumming.


Pillophile is a gem around these parts. A straight-up invaluable member of opiophile.

gaddam crossed wires!!

Why not dose and forget all about it? I'm sure pillophile has long since done the same.



t

[Ragdoll]

Pillie is our ANGEL, plain and simple. Nope, we won't take shit about Pillie because he is deeply loved and respected here on Opio.

[Moonrock]

someone here is far fucking far from any kind of quitting,
SWIM had to literaly move to another country to quit.
i seriously hope i'm wrong though and wish u all the luck in ur quit hunt.

[bronyraur]

I FINALLY QUIT......

I don't believe a word you've typed in your first post.

If you've "kicked 10 times", the have you really kicked at all?


Enough of the attention whore stuff, there's enough BS around here already. Why don't you let us know hoe things are when you're stone cold sober for 2 or 3 weeks.

[Duckfeet]

Me too, Moonrock. The few times I have really quit, I have had to move to where it was at least 24 hrs or so from nearest connection, so that even if I *wanted* to cop, it would be really hard. I've done that more than once, you know, did my last shot in Housion, and then just headed east, until I was too sick in Florida to drive. I've gone to Belize--I know, it's stupid--to get away from heroin...and of course, I was guzzling paregoric, but it got me off the spike...and have headed more than once from S. Louisiana 12hrs away to Brownsville TX, where, again, I didn't know where to cop, and once I get sick, I just hole up in a cheap motel...then usually cross border and stock up on mexican neo-percodans, which were just propoxyphene, but seemed to help me kick, tho what I've read makes me think it was probably placebo...

But one thing that has *never* worked is just telling everybdoy I'm quitting and then just sitting there...eventually I always get weak and cop, sooner rather than later. And time hasn't made me better at it, either. I think me and Nick have both shared that this is one area where experience actually might hurt, rather than help, as it makes me even more prone to: "I know I'm going to give in eventually, why put it off???"

I know there are exceptions, and I guess everybody has at least *one* example of how they quit for a long period..but to me they are *exceptions* and not useful.....

someone here is far fucking far from any kind of quitting,
SWIM had to literaly move to another country to quit.
i seriously hope i'm wrong though and wish u all the luck in ur quit hunt.

[blackdog]

can you make a post tonight without the inclusion of offensive slurs? makes you sound like a real piece of shit.

makes you sound like a gurly girl panti wearing sexually challenged anus scratching butt sniffer
but other then that heve a nice fucking day!:cool:

oh man i gotta fix this so its politically correct kinda /sorta
i dont mean theres anything wrong with gurly girls or panti wearers
or the sexually challenged and or the anus scrathers or butt sniffers
butt if i cant express my self as a bigoted prejudiced curseword using loud mouth
then i'm getting the fuck hell outta this faggot infested gueer nation rectal imageing world fer 4-6 hours at least ,by then i hope we all got over whatever the fuck hell it was i started this whole monologe about ????????

[nick]

1.Pill is cool and we are lucky to have him here.

2.Jay,much luck with kicking.

[chopstix]

I FINALLY QUIT. FINAL SHOT TONIGHT ON TOP OF MY CATAPRES, ATIVAN, AND KLONOPIN:


WHOOOOOEY I"M FLYIN!!!!!!!!!!!! My final shot consisted of a $20.00 piece I copped from my good boy, and boy did he hook it up fat Cus I told him im done its over not only was it FAT, it was also BOMB (BIG FAT CHUNK OF LIGHT TAN SWEET SMELLING DIESEL) (Probably about 75mg of Diacetylmorphine in it. Plus I was already on (which, btw, the Ativan, Klonopin and Catapres Transdermal Patches were all LEGALLY prescribed to me.Two words: dirt nap.

Keep that shit up and you're gonna wind up a statistic.

And kicking dope is easy, I do it all the time ;)

[betmylife]

Two words: dirt nap.

Keep that shit up and you're gonna wind up a statistic.

And kicking dope is easy, I do it all the time ;)


LOL....

[Duckfeet]

Me too: that's why I've got soooo much wisdom on the subject...when it comes to kicking, I'm the champion; *nobody* has kicked as many times as me!!!! yayyy!!!!!!!! Matter of fact, I'm going to try kicking *again!* probably tomorrow...or soon, anyway!!


Two words: dirt nap.

Keep that shit up and you're gonna wind up a statistic.

And kicking dope is easy, I do it all the time ;)

[chopstix]

Me too: that's why I've got soooo much wisdom on the subject...when it comes to kicking, I'm the champion; *nobody* has kicked as many times as me!!!! yayyy!!!!!!!! Matter of fact, I'm going to try kicking *again!* probably tomorrow...or soon, anyway!!

You might be the champion now, but I'm catchin' up to ya Duck! I've quit three times this week already!! If I wasn't feeling so lazy today, I could go pick up some more money right now and quit again tomorrow!!

[9177]

Yeah for some fucked up reason I seem to want to quit when I'm high and NOT when I'm sober. I truly don't get this one.

[Moonrock]

i quit 13 years ago
quit being sober that is !!

[rachamim18]

Letting us know before yo do your last hit? Get back to us in 10 years and we will see. A junkie is rarely out for good, although if that is truly your wish, I wish you luck.